You may have found yourself dreaming about your deceased loved one. Perhaps you have dreamed about being together in a favorite place or have felt his or her presence with you. Stephanie Ericsson writes, “when I get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen for a glass of water, I think I’m going to bump into you. The late you. I feel you walking around our house, but only in the halls, and only when there are no lights on.”
Anne M. Brooks is thrilled when she finally begins to dream of her husband. In her book The Grieving Time she says the dreams are “such a comfort, so natural. At first, he was only a shadowy figure, a presence, but now he is there!”
Maybe you have dreamed your loved one has given you a message. The message could be that he or she is okay or a signal regarding an issue you have been struggling with. Jill Truman was unsure what was happening. She writes in Letter to My Husband, “What was it all about then, getting me up at 5:30 in the morning, and out into the garden? It was a very strange compulsion.
I knew you were there. What did I expect? Nothing. But you called me and I went.”
Jill Truman wonders “Am I deluding myself? Is it a defense mechanism, can I not accept reality? Or are you really somewhere and trying to bring me a little piece of mind?”
Many times visions and dreams are pleasant and comforting. However, dreams may also be disturbing making it difficult to get back to sleep. If the death was violent you may be dreaming you are trying to do something to prevent the death. Or you may find you have the same dream over and over again. Frequent dreams that are unpleasant need to be addressed. Reworking the end of the dream to make it more acceptable may be helpful. Your bereavement social worker can assist you in getting some relief.
Dreams and visions after the death of a loved one are common. Trying to understand their meaning is part of the healing process.